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The Current: 2016 Prez Hopefuls and Their Ideal Running Mates

Lauren Peressini

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Hillary Clinton & Madonna

Campaign Slogan: Vogueing All the Way to the Oval Office

These two blonde biddies will have killer dancing campaign parties. They‰’ll bond over strained marriages and only go by their first names. Both ladies have a fondness for pantsuits and will raid each other‰’s closets. Their daughters, Lourdes and Chelsea, are even BFFs! Unfortunately, only one of these women has kissed Drake, which could be a point of contention and cost them the election.

 

Marco Rubio & Pitbull

Campaign Slogan: I Know You Want Me

Marco and Pitbull bonded over their shared Cuban heritage and Miami origins. Rubio is 43 and Pitbull (Armando Christian Perez) is 34, so there‰’s a little connection with their ages there. In November 2014, Pitbull released an album called Globalization, hinting at his aspirations for world takeover with Rubio. Rubio has described himself as “a west coast rap fan in the 1990s,‰” which first upset Pitbull, but then he realized he‰’s not exactly a rapper anyways. Dale!

 

Ted Cruz & Lil B the Based God

Campaign Slogan: TYBT (Thank You Based Ted)

Ted Cruz announced his candidacy for president by tweeting, “I‰’m running for president and I hope to earn your support!‰” If you don‰’t follow Lil B on twitter, I highly recommend doing so, and it‰’s possible he‰’ll even follow you back. Lil B follows Ted Cruz on twitter (Seriously!). They both joined twitter in 2009. Additionally, Cruz‰’s father is a minister and Lil B is the based God, so they both share strong faith and will go to church and sing psalms together.

 

Chris Christie & Action Bronson

Campaign Slogan: Got the Munchies for Votes

First, both of these men are over 300 lbs. However, Action Bronson (Arian Arslani) dabbles in dabbing marijuana while Christie vows to crack down on making sure legal weed does not become a thing if he is elected president. These two would share a plate of spaghetti a la Lady and the Tramp. Christie would attempt to rap one night and Bronson would still hype him up even though he could not spit the fire at all.

 

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The Current: 2016 Prez Hopefuls and Their Ideal Running Mates