Courtesy of Vox

I was served lemons, but I made lemonade.

I‰’m here today to talk about the blessings that Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter bestowed on us a week ago. I knew we would be seeing a different side of Bey the second I heard her say “I love my baby hair with baby hair and Afros‰” in “Formation‰” back in February. To get the full effect, I figured it would be a good idea to listen to Lemonade all the way through then watch the visual portion of it. And mannnnnnnn, I‰’m so happy I did that. I got a chance to really get a feel of the messages behind the songs, and the visuals were the cherry (a real fresh one, not those disgusting ones that come in a can and are way too red) on top of the best sundae you can ever EVER have. American Horror Story: Coven vibes with Carefree Black Girl magic is the only way I can describe it.

Let me assure you, there is no other way to watch Lemonade without giving it your full and undivided attention. As a film and media arts major, the visuals had me TRIPPIN. Talk about goals. But, more importantly, as a black girl, it made me feel some type of way. Scratch that, I‰’m a black woman. BeyoncÌ© being surrounded by other talented and strong black women reminded me of my worth. BeyoncÌ© reassured that I don‰’t need to be okay, but I don‰’t need someone to check on me either. I am my own strength. Vulnerability doesn‰’t have to be a bad thing, own it. Congratulations Bey, you always bring out the best in me and you did it again.

I don‰’t really know how to categorize what you‰’re about to read. It‰’s not really an article or a review, I‰’m sure there is a word for it but it has totally slipped my mind. This took me a lot longer to write than I expected because I struggled on how to make my words reflect how I feel. I hope you can resonate with it in someway, but if not, it‰’s totally fine because BeyoncÌ© reminds me that I‰’m doing things on my own terms.

“Don‰’t Hurt Yourself‰” literally made my jaw drop. CORNROWS, FUR COAT, NECKLACE, and ALL. BeyoncÌ©‰’s perfect mix of anger and power made me remember why I adore her so much (not that I needed anymore reminders). It was a “dang did she really just do that? OH SHE REALLY DID!‰” moment.

I started ugly crying during “Sorry‰” because that is when it all hit me. Seeing the world‰’s greatest athlete (DON‰’T fight me on this) own her womanhood and twerk in front of BeyoncÌ©‰’s throne was amazing. Throughout the whole piece her connections to her roots- both the South AND Africa were beautiful.

I felt a sting in my chest as Michael Brown‰’s mother held his senior picture during “Forward‰” because no matter how many times I hear that story or see that photo it‰’s like it‰’s the first time all over again.

As BeyoncÌ© belted an acappella rendition of “Freedom‰” a stage in front of other black women, young and old, I felt something in my stomach. No, it wasn‰’t the black beans I had at Chipotle yesterday.

Funny enough, “All Night‰” also made me cry. It reminded me that things will be okay and that I need to stop being a baby and accept feelings when I have them. I‰’m not necessarily the most emotional person, but BeyoncÌ© made me come to terms with things.

Even though I wasn‰’t sitting on the porch with Zendaya and Amandla, I felt like I was there. It‰’s because I WAS there. I was there through connection. The black woman really is the most unprotected person in America, Lemonade was a reminder that we don‰’t have to accept that anymore.

On every single level of my soul, I needed this. When I‰’m walking down the street in a beautiful yellow dress with a baseball bat named Hot Sauce in my hand, don‰’t stop me, because I never needed you in the first place.

We‰’re gonna heal, we‰’re gonna start again.