How the hole
In my chest
Grew each year
As everyone
Around me
Left to
Find their
Other half.
Oh, how I feared
Staying in my
Too cold,
Too empty,
Too quiet
Apartment,
Wondering
Was I meant
To be a part
Of anything?
Maybe I
Lost my mind
Searching for
Someone to love–
For someone
To love
Me.
Cost me my
Sanity,
I went blind for a
Digital connection,
Lost my mind
For a video obsession.
Consumed by
Loneliness
My heart yearned
For momentary bliss–
For your voice,
Your eyes
That read mine
When no one else tried.
Soon grew tired of
Virtual space,
Needed so dearly to
See your face.
No one noticed
When I flew
To your city
To finally
Make you mine.
Heart rate spiked
More than I liked
But I guess
I liked you
More than I liked.
No one noticed
When our eyes met
On the crowded street,
A fleeting glance
Of surprise
Before your hand
Linked with another’s
And left me with
Our demise.
No one noticed
How I came undone,
How my heart shattered–
No one but you,
The only one
Who mattered.
Wept myself
To sleep
Where my woes
Seeped into
Delusion;
I dreamt that
You held me
So close–
An illusion–
But I could feel
Your heartbeat,
The heat from
Your touch
Burning me yet
Making me
Complete.
I convinced myself
After countless
Lonely nights
That our connection
Was real,
That you
Feel how I feel.
But maybe I
Just lost my mind.
My heart is
Poorly written
On my sleeve–
No wonder
People leave
So easily.
Bereft,
I woke up
Against my will
And left
Without a trace,
Refusing to let
My tears spill
While I erase
Your face
From memory,
Remembering
I am to blame,
Drowning in
My shame
Realizing that
All this time
I knew nothing but
Your name.