Courtesy of Newbury Comics.

I think we can all agree that we all have one song that is objectively quite awful. You either cannot stop listening to a new, unoriginal pop song or, in my case, one song that is clearly the worst song on an album but manages to be your favorite. Enter Say Anything‰’s “Wow I Can Get Sexual Too.‰Û

This song is the opening track on the companion EP …was a real boy to their phenomenal studio album …is a real boy and when I first heard it, I really couldn‰’t believe that this song that is, objectively, quite awful was on this phenomenal album. But then I kept listening to it. There was something drawing me back to this ode to phone sex that I originally could not describe and now it may be not only my favorite Say Anything song, but one of my favorite songs of all time. And it is quite objectively awful.

The music is contrived and the arrangement is basic at best. The keyboard is the lead instrument, atypical of Say Anything (well, this was before Hebrews). The lyrics have their moments, but the chorus is incredibly repetitive and borderline forced. However, when these three awful components are combined, they create a song that just becomes so compelling that I cannot stop listening. It‰’s not the “it‰’s so bad, it‰’s good‰” mentality or like watching a plane crash. “Wow I Can Get Sexual Too‰” is objectively an awful piece of music. But knowing Max Bemis‰’s record for self-deprecating humor, he is intentionally being awful. He knows that his audience likes self-deprecation and will eat up this awful piece of music. And anyone not in that mentality will think it is truly awful.

Courtesy of Lehigh Valley Live.

The music video is also equally awful, but it’s using the same self-deprecation to be intentionally awful. The scenes are just as contrived as the lyrics and it just works. It is nothing but a bowl of different types of crap but when you put it in a blender, as Max Bemis and the members of Say Anything have done, you get gold.