Courtesy of BuddyTV.

Have you ever wanted a long, illustrious singing career spanning well over a decade? Do you want to fade out of Pop Culture‰’s consciousness only to reinvent yourself several years later? Luckily for you, I‰’ve created an easy-to-follow guide for How to Make Your Celebrity Comeback in just 10 simple steps!

1) Audition for a popular singing competition. Blow the judges away with your homemade shirt and witty banter. Try to get Randy Jackson to audition while you judge him. Insult Ryan Seacrest‰’s highlights.

2) Perform covers of “power‰” ballads on said singing competition, making sure to display your extensive vocal training. Use heavy vibrato that will never be a part of your actual singing career. Perform at least one swing song, likening you to the musical styling of Judy Garland.

3) As you progress through the singing competition, make it clear that your vocals are facing a lot of stress. Maybe flub up on a couple of notes, but maintain your poise. Remember: you‰’re human, but you‰’re still perfect. Make Simon Cowell love you.

4) Win the singing competition with relative ease.

5) Get signed to the producer of the singing competition‰’s record label. Release an album. Sell millions of copies. Become America‰’s sweetheart. Pronounce “naked‰” like “nekked‰” on Ellen. Endear everyone.

6) Release another “edgier‰” album. This album will contain a hit single everyone knows, even if they don‰’t like you. The hit single will include the following elements: enough guitar to be deemed pop rock; heavy eyeliner; a head banging chorus; at least three articles of clothing indicative of the early (INSERT DECADE HERE) and a montage of you casually destroying your ex-boyfriend‰’s apartment.

7) Continue to release more albums, each one becoming less and less well-known. Reap the benefits of a decent single or two from each, but make sure the albums themselves are relatively boring. You should release one high quality single on your most recent album, but everything else on it should be completely forgettable. Tease your audience. Make them want more “Strongers.‰Û

8) Create controversy by tweeting positive things about Ron Paul. Buy a ring Jane Austen once owned for an obscene amount of money. Become involved in a number of international charities. Sing at the Super Bowl. Marry someone vaguely related to a once-famous country singer. Have a baby. Release a Greatest Hits album. Release a Christmas album. Do anything but put out actual new music.

Courtesy of Daily Mirror.

9) Release a single four years after your most recent album. Make sure the single is a modest critical success. It should sound vaguely like another up-tempo song from the 90s and feature something reviewers call “80s-inspired synths.‰” It will be catchy, but not as much of a smash as the hit single from your second album. Build people up for the “real‰” single, sure to blow this teaser out of the water.

10) Announce the release of both your upcoming album and a new tour. Coast on your genuine talent and years in the “industry‰” to power you through your comeback, assuring anyone and everyone that this album is different enough from your old stuff that it‰’s a reinvention, but similar enough that people will actually know it‰’s you. Sit back and wait patiently for your comeback to begin.

Kelly Clarkson‰’s new album, Piece by Piece, will be released in March 2015.