Anybody who has ever read any of my columns knows that lyrical analysis is very much one of my favorite activities. But that was not always true. Especially when I was 8— which was one of the first times I remember hearing the phenomenal breakthrough record from Arizona‰’s own Gin Blossoms, New Miserable Experience. It was probably my first exposure to “modern‰” alternative rock, and I very quickly fell in love with its clean jangly guitars and catchy melodies. This was also around the same time I started collecting vinyl, and I remember being disappointed it was never pressed on vinyl (although I do believe a reissue is coming out soon), but I recall my joy at finding a warped copy of the jukebox 45 for the two main hits from that album: “ Found Out About You‰” and “ Hey Jealousy‰” at a local Goodwill.

The album was never not on one of my iPods, and a song from it most likely was in every playlist I made throughout middle and early high school. But around my junior year of high school, I listened to “Hey Jealousy‰” and realized how absolutely depressing it was. I vaguely knew of primary songwriter Doug Hokpins‰’s struggle with alcoholism and mental illness—ultimately leading to him getting kicked out of the band–, but I somehow had missed how much of himself he put into his music. Take the opening verse of the “Hey Jealousy,‰” the album‰’s first single.

Tell me do you think it‰’d be alright

If I just crash here tonight

You can see I‰’m in no shape for driving

And anywhere I‰’ve got no place to go

And you know it might not be that bad

You were the best I‰’d ever had

If I hadn‰’t blown the whole thing years ago

I might not be alone

This paints the scene very clearly. The narrator shows up drunk at his ex‰’s door—upset about how their previous relationship ended. He is begging for forgiveness, as the resulting loneliness is figuratively (and perhaps literally) killing him. The hook-laden chorus then expands upon this idea:

Tomorrow we can drive around this town

And let the cops chase us around

The past is gone but

Something might be found to take its place

Hey Jealousy

Looking back, it may seem rather shortsighted of me to not notice this. But a 7- or 8-year-old, regardless of their own home life, is not really familiar with the adult peril that comes with making a mistake and it causing you heartache—the most grown-up of emotional problems. Far removed from someone stealing your favorite pencil or not getting invited to someone‰’s birthday party, the kinds of issues that this album presents were things I was not thinking about the first times I heard it. And put it on repeat. And I have noticed that happening to me more recently with other albums that I re-listened to with a critical ear. But none quite as egregious as New Miserable Experience. I remember putting “Found Out About You,‰” a song about being cheated on, on one of my “Feel Good‰” playlists in middle school purely based on the jangly guitar and catchy hooks. And that is how I re-fell in love with one of my favorite albums—I listened to the lyrics.