New Age-y Nostradamus: A Review of Joe’s Garage Act I by Frank Zappa
February 3, 2016
Courtesy of Music Today
I think this is the most satirical and try-hard album I’ve ever listened to. Yet at the same time this rock opera’ is beautiful. It is doing so many things at once. Joe’s Garage is a rock opera without characters but with a moral. I’m not trying to say that there isn’t a story; many of the songs are like short stories (“Joe’s Garage” and “Fembot in a Wet T-ShirtÛ). Joe’s Garage is more of an anthology that came out of the future.
The first track “The Central Scrutinizer” is clearly attempting to warn us of the horrible future that we are allowing to happen. Zappa whispers are amplified where the background, which is supposedly music, sounds more like a drum machine and a sound effects board. On the contrary, “On the BusÛ, which is the sixth track of the album is a song that feels both empty and full of just straight beautiful guitar. The sort of guitar you don’t hear anymore. The lyrics are sparse in “On the BusÛ, but in the song “Joe’s Garage” Zappa spins the relatable story of every musicians first band.
The song “Why Does it Hurt When I Pee” is musically so pleasing. It feels like an orchestra, matched next to the mundane lyrics “My balls feel like a pair of maracasÛ. I want to say Zappa is making fun of stadium rock, but stadium rock didn’t really have its foothold in the public sphere in 1979 when this album came out. Zappa’s predictions are sounding more and more like Nostradamus. Even in the song “Catholic GirlsÛ, which starts off vaguely catchy but mostly uncomfortable, Zappa juxtaposes filthy oral sex with the guise of vocal jazz. It’s almost reminiscent of 50 Cent’s Candy Shop. The theme of oral sex and the exaggerated evil of loose women is explicit in “Crew Slut” when frank zappa starts off the track by sing-saying “She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory/ In order to get a pass To see some big rock group for freeÛ. Honestly, the virgin/slut complex that this album has does a pretty good job of depicting the impossible double binds we place women in.
It is pretty easy to see that Zappa is trying to warn us, through satire, but he is simultaneously influencing the future of rock music. His drumming made me think he was using a drum machine, and I had to check to see if he was. He wasn’t. I know that Frank Zappa is trying to tell me a story here, but it comes off more as post apocalyptical warning about robots and fascist governments that control the people’ through sex drives.
